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50 ways to say I Love You -- The Cheesy Way

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

If you can't say I Love You, why not try it this way?

  1. “If my heart were a baked potato, I’d serve it to you with extra butter and sour cream.”
  2. “Your terrible personality isn’t so terrible after a few drinks and even when I sober up, it’s not as terrible as everyone says.”
  3. “I’d shave my entire body with a dull, rusty razor blade and take a vinegar bath for you.”
  4. “I am rubber, you are glue, and any feelings you have for me bounce off and stick to you. Ironically, I feel the same way.”
  5. “The other day I saw this little girl drops her whole ice cream cone on the ground and start bawling. After I stopped laughing, I thought, “I’m the same way when you don’t call when you say you will.”
  6. “I saw you in the morning, on the toilet, and I didn’t run screaming. So there.”
  7. “Hug me. If you let go -- you lose.”
  8. “Umm… like… you and me? Yeah. You and me.”
  9. “You are to me what an eye patch and parrot is to a pirate.”
  10. “You are the hole in my donut.”
  11. “I am the pork, you are the beans.”
  12. “You make me want to vomit little chocolate hearts.”
  13. “You are my personal parachute.”
  14. “If you were a margarita, I’d drink you by the bucket.”
  15. “I really like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like you.”
  16. “If I had my junior high dance to do all over again, I’d lean against the far wall, stare at you, and hate myself for not asking you if you liked the punch.”
  17. “I don’t love you. I merely enjoy tolerating your existence immensely.”
  18. “I’ll still want to have sex with you even when you’re old, fat, and ugly.”
  19. “You had me at ‘Stop following me’.”
  20. “Your farts smell like vanilla.”
  21. “We’re a two person chain gang.”
  22. “I am valedictorian of the University of You.”
  23. “If you needed a kidney transplant, I’d also throw in a bonus lung.”
  24. “The wet, fatty ball of muscle and sinew that pumps my thick, steaming blood to all of my internal organs starts to beat irregularly when you come into my line of sight.”
  25. “You are to me what Oprah is to mediocre self-help gurus.”
  26. “While you’re in the shower, I collect your skin flakes from the sheets and now I carry them around in this little napkin I keep tied around my neck.”
  27. You suck! So good.”
  28. “If you were frozen in Carbonite and taken by bounty hunters, I’d gladly disguise myself, infiltrate a fortress of intergalactic gangsters, threaten them with a thermal detonator, and defrost you myself.”
  29. “When I was a kid I was kind of stupid and I thought it would be fun if I stuck a fork in the wall socket and obviously I was thrown across the room. Well, that shock that made my teeth chatter and my hair fall out? That’s like you.”
  30. “We are totally codependent and I don’t want it any other way.”
  31. “This is the “happily ever after” part of the damn fairy tale, dig?”
  32. “If you were a handful of genital crabs, I’d never change my underwear.”
  33. “I’m not saying we shouldn’t see other people. I’m just saying I’ll chase whoever you see out of town with a nail-studded baseball bat.”
  34. “I am your blank check. Don’t bounce me.”
  35. “Shut your piehole! Okay -- now kiss me with that beautiful piehole.” (piehole is a slang for mouth)
  36. “If you were in a horrible accident and they put your head in a saline solution-filled fish tank, I’d feed you, change your water, and carry you on my back everyday until they built you a kick-ass robot body.”
  37. “If given the choice between playing roundball like Michael Jordan and raising rugrats with you in a trailer park then I’d be the first to stand in line to buy diapers.”
  38. “You’re such a fucking asshole! And so am I. Let’s forgive each other, get drunk, and screw.”
  39. “If I was smart, I’d follow you around like a puppy and never, ever crap in the corner.”
  40. “Not only would I carry you out of the factory and drive away you away on my sweet chopper… I’d also buy you a beer and a basket of fries.”
  41. I wrote you a poem: “You walk in beauty like the night/ which means you’re the hottest babe in sight/Come home with me so I don’t get in a fight/I agree with what you said: you are always right.”
  42. “I’m a grown up and just face the facts that you’re my security blanket.”
  43. “You don’t know it, but right here, right now, is the point in the musical montage part of the movie. Let’s split a pretzel and go for a walk on the footbridge.”
  44. “Not only would I die for you, I’d bitch slap Satan a good one, too.”
  45. “Look: you’re the only one allowed in my bunker. So go get some batteries while I’ll clean my shotgun.”
  46. “I’m a junky for your instant messages.”
  47. “I had the weirdest dream last night: I was waking up just as dawn was breaking, but instead of the sun rising on the horizon, it was your glowing face. You were smiling and glowing and it felt too good. Isn’t that just strange? I have NO idea what that means. Pass the ketchup.”
  48. “You’re my best and only naked friend.”
  49. “If you we’re a cigarette, I’d smoke five packs of you everyday and welcome each and every eventual tumor.”
  50. “Let’s set aside cool, ironic detachment for just a moment, shall we? I love you. Wow… wasn’t that just like lame movie Reality Bites? You’ve never seen it? It’s awesome… in a totally stupid way.”
Not bad! Some are really cheesy while some are way too sweet. I emphasized my favorites And if you really like like like like like like like like this post, please StumbleUpon it!

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Ladybug Sex -- no adult content

Ok. So here's the deal, you get two lady bugs, place them in your palms and wait for them to have sex given that the other lady bug is actually a guy.

And if you succeed, you can take a video clip of them upload it to YouTube and voila, 2 million + views in 6 months.

I wonder what the ladybugs been thinking...

And oh, if you don't know what I'm talking about, here's the kid with the lady bug sex at his palm.

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Internet People

Sunday, September 09, 2007

Wow! I so love this video by Meth Minute 39. I saw this just a few hours after it was released, and I think that it would be great idea if I could link all the internet people -- well, those that I could find.

I know there are a lot of Internet People that I failed to include on the list, so please if you know the link to one of the internet people, hit the comment button!

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Ring the Alarm.. clock! Top 10!

Sunday, September 02, 2007

After the review i did before about the coolest tables, now, I present to you the alarm clocks review. Here are the top 10 alarm clocks that would surely get your butt off the bed better than your mom!

On the 10th spot is...

The Sfera alarm clock hangs from the ceiling above your bed. When the alarm goes off, you can reach up and touch it to activate the snooze function causing it retract towards the ceiling. When snooze goes off again, you have to reach higher to activate the snooze again. Each time you activate the snooze function the alarm retracts a little higher to the point that you get your butt out of bed. The Puzzle Alarm wakes you up by firing four puzzle pieces up in the air, then it is your mission to get the pieces and put them back in the alarm clock or it won’t turn off until then. Price:$52 The interactive alarm clock with a unique personality goes by the name, Nooby. To see what time the alarm is set you simply ask him and he reads the current alarm setting and assures you it’ll go off. When your favorite time of the morning comes around, he’ll beep and say, “Rise and shine, it’s time to get up!”. When you go back to sleep and don’t turn the alarm off right away, he’ll beep again, but this time he gets nasty, “Take your fingers out of your ears!”. To put an end to this harassing wake up call, you simply ring the clock’s blue neck. If he senses that you are angry, he’ll get grumpy and ignore you.Price:$29.95

ClearSounds Wake & Shake alarm clock features a choice of loud tones, a flashing strobe, or vibrating pad to alert you when the alarm signals or as an added bonus, when the phone rings!

Tone control offers 95 dB ring level volume intensity. Flashing strobe light breaks through sleep to wake you up. Vibrating pad can be positioned under your pillow or mattress for a sturdy nudge out of bed.

Anemone Clock rumbles when the alarm goes off, eventually shaking its way all across your room, forcing you to get up to stop it. It keeps shaking when you pick it up, shaking you awake and making it a hard to find the off button. The Kuku Alarm Clock greets you every morning by crowing and laying eggs. It won’t stop chirping until you’ve returned its eggs. Price:$49.95

The Drill Sergeant Alarm Clock

After a bugle plays “Reveille,” your personal drill sergeant clears the cobwebs from your brain with an inspiring round of orders you can’t fail to obey. LCD display provides you with time, alarm time, and date. Alarm with snooze button sounds with bugle, drill sergeant, or AM/FM radio (when you’re off duty, of course).

Price:$19.98

The blowfly alarm clock escapes from a cage in your room, moves and produces sound around you when the alarm goes off. To turn it off you have to catch it and put it back in its home. A similar alarm is available at Amazon for $25 The Sonic Alarm will wake pretty well anything up. Simply pull the pin, yell an emphatic “fire in the hole” and lob the grenade into the sleeper’s room. After ten seconds a very annoying and piercingly loud noise (there are three volume settings) will blast out from the alarm. That’s not all however, what makes this especially great is that to stop the alarm the sleeper has to find you so you can put the pin back in. Price:$19 When you hit Clocky’s snooze button, he will roll off of the nightstand, fall to the floor, and run around the room, searching for a place to hide. When the alarm sounds again, you have to get out of bed to find it and turn it off. He finds a new spot everyday, “kind of like a hide-and-seek game”.

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