Rob & The Blogosphere

If you can't say I Love You, why not try it this way?

1. “If my heart were a baked potato, I’d serve it to you with extra butter and sour cream.”
2. “Your terrible personality isn’t so terrible after a few drinks and even when I sober up, it’s not as terrible as everyone says.”
3. “I’d shave my entire body with a dull, rusty razor blade and take a vinegar bath for you.”
4. “I am rubber, you are glue, and any feelings you have for me bounce off and stick to you. Ironically, I feel the same way.”
5. “The other day I saw this little girl drops her whole ice cream cone on the ground and start bawling. After I stopped laughing, I thought, “I’m the same way when you don’t call when you say you will.”
6. “I saw you in the morning, on the toilet, and I didn’t run screaming. So there.”
7. “Hug me. If you let go -- you lose.”
8. “Umm… like… you and me? Yeah. You and me.”
9. “You are to me what an eye patch and parrot is to a pirate.”
10. “You are the hole in my donut.”
11. “I am the pork, you are the beans.”
12. “You make me want to vomit little chocolate hearts.”
13. “You are my personal parachute.”
14. “If you were a margarita, I’d drink you by the bucket.”
15. “I really like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like you.”
16. “If I had my junior high dance to do all over again, I’d lean against the far wall, stare at you, and hate myself for not asking you if you liked the punch.”
17. “I don’t love you. I merely enjoy tolerating your existence immensely.”
18. “I’ll still want to have sex with you even when you’re old, fat, and ugly.”
19. “You had me at ‘Stop following me’.”
20. “Your farts smell like vanilla.”
21. “We’re a two person chain gang.”
22. “I am valedictorian of the University of You.”
23. “If you needed a kidney transplant, I’d also throw in a bonus lung.”
24. “The wet, fatty ball of muscle and sinew that pumps my thick, steaming blood to all of my internal organs starts to beat irregularly when you come into my line of sight.”
25. “You are to me what Oprah is to mediocre self-help gurus.”
26. “While you’re in the shower, I collect your skin flakes from the sheets and now I carry them around in this little napkin I keep tied around my neck.”
27. “You suck! So good.”
28. “If you were frozen in Carbonite and taken by bounty hunters, I’d gladly disguise myself, infiltrate a fortress of intergalactic gangsters, threaten them with a thermal detonator, and defrost you myself.”
29. “When I was a kid I was kind of stupid and I thought it would be fun if I stuck a fork in the wall socket and obviously I was thrown across the room. Well, that shock that made my teeth chatter and my hair fall out? That’s like you.”
30. “We are totally codependent and I don’t want it any other way.”
31. “This is the “happily ever after” part of the damn fairy tale, dig?”
32. “If you were a handful of genital crabs, I’d never change my underwear.”
33. “I’m not saying we shouldn’t see other people. I’m just saying I’ll chase whoever you see out of town with a nail-studded baseball bat.”
34. “I am your blank check. Don’t bounce me.”
35. “Shut your piehole! Okay -- now kiss me with that beautiful piehole.” (piehole is a slang for mouth)
36. “If you were in a horrible accident and they put your head in a saline solution-filled fish tank, I’d feed you, change your water, and carry you on my back everyday until they built you a kick-ass robot body.”
37. “If given the choice between playing roundball like Michael Jordan and raising rugrats with you in a trailer park then I’d be the first to stand in line to buy diapers.”
38. “You’re such a fucking asshole! And so am I. Let’s forgive each other, get drunk, and screw.”
39. “If I was smart, I’d follow you around like a puppy and never, ever crap in the corner.”
40. “Not only would I carry you out of the factory and drive away you away on my sweet chopper… I’d also buy you a beer and a basket of fries.”
41. I wrote you a poem: “You walk in beauty like the night/ which means you’re the hottest babe in sight/Come home with me so I don’t get in a fight/I agree with what you said: you are always right.”
42. “I’m a grown up and just face the facts that you’re my security blanket.”
43. “You don’t know it, but right here, right now, is the point in the musical montage part of the movie. Let’s split a pretzel and go for a walk on the footbridge.”
44. “Not only would I die for you, I’d bitch slap Satan a good one, too.”
45. “Look: you’re the only one allowed in my bunker. So go get some batteries while I’ll clean my shotgun.”
46. “I’m a junky for your instant messages.”
47. “I had the weirdest dream last night: I was waking up just as dawn was breaking, but instead of the sun rising on the horizon, it was your glowing face. You were smiling and glowing and it felt too good. Isn’t that just strange? I have NO idea what that means. Pass the ketchup.”
48. “You’re my best and only naked friend.”
49. “If you we’re a cigarette, I’d smoke five packs of you everyday and welcome each and every eventual tumor.”
50. “Let’s set aside cool, ironic detachment for just a moment, shall we? I love you. Wow… wasn’t that just like lame movie Reality Bites? You’ve never seen it? It’s awesome… in a totally stupid way.”

Labels: Cheesy, Corny, Funny, Love, Love Quotes

Ok. So here's the deal, you get two lady bugs, place them in your palms and wait for them to have sex given that the other lady bug is actually a guy.

And if you succeed, you can take a video clip of them upload it to YouTube and voila, 2 million + views in 6 months.

I wonder what the ladybugs been thinking...

And oh, if you don't know what I'm talking about, here's the kid with the lady bug sex at his palm.

Labels: college humor, Funny, funny pictures, Video, YouTube

This is a parody of Facebook, a social networking site just like Friendster and mySpace, did by the guys from College Humor.

This clip reminds me of this Def Poetry Jam...

Labels: Def Poetry Jam, facebook, Funny, myspace, Parody

Steve Jobs - you know the guy who invented the iPhone, has this interest on Zen Buddism, so this is my tribute to him. Steve, send me a freegin iPhone.

The 22 Zen Buddism Principles:

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone.
2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and leaky tire.
3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
4. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
5. Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.
6. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
7. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
8. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
9. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
11. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
12. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
13. Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield.
14. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
15. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.
16. A closed mouth gathers no foot.
17. Duct tape is like 'The Force'. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
18. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
19. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.
20. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
21. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
22. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. And I mean never.

Labels: Funny, Parody, People, Pop Culture, Zen Buddism

Oh I really have to post this one!

Labels: baby, cute, Funny, funny pictures

Kids say the darndest thing. Yeah. And does some of the cutest stupidity.

Yummmeah!

Look ma! We're wattering your plants!

Labels: babies, cute, Funny, funny pictures, People

An original by Steve Carter.

Labels: Funny, funny pictures, Music

Credits watermarked.

Related read | Beer post

Labels: Drinking Problem, Funny, funny pictures, Health, Math

We've seen it. Apple like reinventing things, from iPod to Shuffle to Nano. Just 2 weeks ago, Apple latest addition to its gadgets, the iPhone came out of the market and people rushed to the stores, some even waited outside for days!

What will they do if they knew Apple will be releasing iPhone Shuffle and iPhone Nano?

Continue Reading >>>

Labels: Apple, Funny, funny pictures, iPhone, Parody

It wasn't long ago when I was still in high school and I was one of the students who really really hates math. Ironically, I end up in the field wherein math is the "lungs" of the subject.

I remember those times, when my classmates and I would strategically locate each others seat arrangement so that there would be a system in cheating. LOL. Goodthing we never got caught.

I was browsing the internet yesterday, and I saw these funny pictures. I know! I know! School is really fun!

Labels: Comedy, Exam, Funny, funny pictures, High School, Math