June 3rd Drama and so-so.
Saturday, June 03, 2006
For the Nth time of my blogging, I again, run out of something to post.
I am dead serious when I say ran out. Like, I have stripped down my brain for something worth typing and still random blanks stares at my mind's sye.
I wonder how good other bloggers are when it comes to typing down the thoughts in their head. Their organized and witty writting techniques simply amazes me.
Actually as of now, I am feeling stupid. Stupid about my writtings... Stupid about who I am... Stupid because things are running through my mind like a pack of bulls charging into a helpless man. Stupid because I feel like a dumb and mute trying desperately to communicate the language he had never spoken. Stupid because I feel like I'd been stripped off my freedom of speech. When the truth is that -- I just don't know what to say.
Last night, before going to sleep, I grabbed my copy of Angels and Demons. Mesmerized by Dan Brown's wit and excellence in writing fictions that it almost sound real. Then I saw my copy of Brokeback Mountain, I thought, how could a lady be good in writing a gay men story.
Maybe, I am not talented. Maybe am not really good at thing(s) that I thought I am/was good at. Again, at this moment the feeling of stupidity sits on me. Rob! Your so good in make believe! You have fabricated a lie that you almost fell into your on pit! Nausea.
I think I should retire on blogging. I'll make it fast. 8 months of internet presence... 8 ill months of drama, shits, bulls, fucks, and oh -- you know my thing. I really should say goodbye. To this blog... to my templates that I have spent hours improving... and to Rob Ruiz...
Suddenly, it hit me. What was I thinking? I am being immature again. If the things I wrote on my blog isn't good as I expected it at least I have people coming in to my lair. My blogkada! How could I forget about them!
How could I forget about my online folks!
Looks like I have to postpone my retirement for another year -- or so... Fuck! I am not quitting!
The Woot Patrol is wooting all day!
