Ang unlimitxt. Bow.

Syet. Puno nanaman ang inbox ko ng mga kung ano – anong mga quotations ng mga kung sino – sino, mga inspirational messages at mga love ek-ek.

May mga message na magaling mambola, yung tipong kakabahan ka dahil ang baka sumunod na message ay mensahe ng pangungutang. Tulad na lamang nito:

If you stood in front of a large mirror and held-up 11 roses in front of you…

you would see…

12 of the most beautiful things in the world.

May mga mesahe din naman na kinukumpera ang pag-ibig sa isang bagay…

Loving is a lot like watching a 20 minute fireworks display.

Exciting.

Emotional.

Romantic.

Sweet.

Memorable.

But it also ends as dramatic as it begins to slowly fade into thin air. As much as you want to keep watching, there’s nothings to make it stay.

In the end, all that’s left is a starless night & the fact that in this life, good things never seem to last.

*

“Love is like handing someone a gun, having then point it at your heart & trusting then to never pull the trigger.” – Michael Gardner

*

“A cigarette is like falling in love… When one is within reach, it gives us a million reasons to smoke and makes us forget the one reason why we shouldn’t.”

Awww! Na-touch naman ako dun! Lalo na siguro kung malalaman mong may nagdonate sayo ng organs nila… Pero dahil nga text message to, wala kang kawala sa pick-up line!

Paano if 1 daysabi ni Doc you need a new nose or else di ka na makakahinga? Nag paopera ka. Nang matapos, ask mo kung sino ang donor…

My inabot na note, sabi: “Ingatan mo ilong ko. Luv, Mike Enriquez

Syempre sa text message hindi mawawal dyan yung mga bobo jokes o yung mga pick-up lines ng mga tanga. Isa ito sa paborito kong mga jokes kasi feeling ko ang talino ko! Wahahaha! Joke lang!

ANAK: Tay! Ano ba ang birdflu? Kasi maraming nabibiktima ng birdflu.

AMA: Kaya nga kita pinagaaral para matuto ka eh! Ang birdflu ay ang past tense ng birdfly!

At speaking of bobo… Sino ba ang pinaka sikat nab obo sa pilipinas kundi si Erap?!

JINGOY: Dad, manganganak nap o misis ko!

ERAP: Dali! Tumwag ka ng ambulansya, dalin natin sa Jollibee!

JINGOY: Dad, bakit Jollibee???

ERAP: may free delivery dun! XD

Bukod sa mga bobo ay meron ding mga bakla jokes. Pero hindi naman ginawa ang mga bakla jokes para siraan ang mga bakla o i-degrade sila. Nakakatawa lang talaga. Example:

2 men drinking:

ALFRED: Pare, bakit hanggang ngayon, wala ka paring jowa? Tingnan mo ko, nakakailan na. Wala ka bang natitipuhan?

LOUIE: (blushed) Meron. Manhid ka lang kasi! J

Nahalata nyo ba, usong uso ngayon sa text yung mga nag-uusap na jokes. Tulad nga niyang nasa taas. Pero, bukod diyan nagiging popular narin ang mga quotations… Yung tipong nanggaling mismo sa sa isang speaker.

“It’s not who I am underneath, it is what I do that defines me.” –Batman

“Iniisip nila ay hindi mahalaga, mahal kita maging… sino ka man…” –Robin

Astig noh! Batman and Robin! Robin Padilla! Wahaha!

Meron din namang mga message na wari ba ay may patago ng attensyon:

I know you are so busy. But for 3 seconds think of me.

1…

2…

3…

So sweet, thanks! Now you can continue with what you were doing. J

Syempre pah! Para saan ang mga mesahe kung hindi mo rin lang mailalabas ang kalibugan mo dito…

Doing SEX by profession:

Doctors do it in ORDER;

Dentists do it ORALLY;

Nurse do it with PATIENCE;

Medtech do it by REQUEST;

Engineers do it MATHEMATICALLY;

Meron ding mga short stories na hinaluan ng irony.

A lonely frog calls a psychic hotline & asks what his future holds. The psychic says, “You will meet a girl who would want to know everything about you.”

The frog was excited. “That’s great! Will I meet her in a party?”

The psychic replied, “No, in a biology class.”

At meron din namang short story lang talaga… yan ay kung matatwag nyo syang istorya!

One day, a girl and a boy was talking.

The girl said: Musta ka na?

The boy replied: eto ok lang… kaw?

Girl: Ok lang din…

At yun na nga…

Ok naman pala silang dalawa!

Pero eto ang paborito ko sa lahat!

One day a sadist, masochist, murderer, necrophile, zoophile and pyromaniac were taking in a psychia ward…

SADIST: Im bored! Why don’t we torture a cat???

ZOOPHILE: Yeah! We’ll torture it & then fuck it!

MURDERER: We’ll torture it, fuck it & then kill it!

NECROPHILE: We’ll toruture it, fuck it, kill it & fuck it again!

PYROMANIAC: Yeah! Then we’ll burn the cat!

… sudden silence …

Then all asked the masochist, why he didn’t say anything…

MASOCHIST: Meow!

Kaya yung mga unlimited sa globe dyan! Text nyo na ko! Pewo, mas maganda kung bibigyan nyo rin ako ng load!

Night night po! MMMMUUUAAAHH!!!

Labels: Funny, Life's so PUN, mixed, Pop Culture